To the Girl He Loved After Me

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I think you’re really pretty.

I used to hate thinking you were really pretty.

I used to wish you were plain; I used to wish you were boring.

I used to wish you had dead bodies in your closet or that your Instagram photos weren’t so freakin’ cute.

Because maybe then he wouldn’t have chosen you.

But a few months ago, I had a life altering realization.

And that is why I’m writing this letter.

I’ve been wanting to have this conversation with you for a while because I feel that I owe you an explanation as to why I was in love with your love for so long.

I know he’s yours now.

But he was once mine.

And we were once happy.

For six months, I was the one who lifted him up and made him feel like a little kid. I was the one racing him down sidewalks and watching him scream I love you at the top of his lungs. I was the one wearing his high school t-shirts and sleeping next to him every other night. I was making him happy.

I was his.

Because you weren’t there.

He had never said your name before.

He had no idea that you even existed.

And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy the days when you were nonexistent.

The months before I heard your name for the first time were the most beautifully tragic months I’ve ever lived through.

I remember the way he looked at me after he heard me sing for the first time. He counted how many times we made eye contact that night and it turned out to be about 30 times… We were kind of ridiculous like that.

I remember when I held his hand for the first time. We were watching a movie in my dorm room when he held his hand out and asked me to lie down next to him. I threw a pillow at his face because I was so embarrassed and shy… but after his third attempt, I took his hand anyway.

I remember when he accidentally told me he loved me almost every single day after we’d been dating for two weeks. I’d say something funny and he’d reply, “Ah… and that’s why I love you.” Then he’d run away screaming, “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT PRETEND I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!“

I remember the moment I thought I realized he was not the guy I was going to end up with.

I remember being wrong.

I remember watching our love tailspin to rock bottom when I became insecure with the relationship and demanded unrealistic things from him.

I remember leaving him.

I remember regretting it.

I remember feeling so far away from God because I believed He had taken the only true love I’d ever experienced away from me like He was tearing skin from the bone.

I remember not leaving my bed for three months.

I remember hearing your name for the first time.

I remember crying.

A lot.

I remember the bad months just as much as the good months.

And I honestly can’t tell you which ones hurt more.

I sometimes wish I would forget all the sweet facts that make up who he is as a person.

But I memorized them as I’m sure you have.

We both know he’s an introvert who tries exceptionally hard to be an extrovert. We both know he loves capes for some reason. We both know he suffers from occasional crippling anxiety. We both know how much he loves milk. We both know he loves pulling pranks but is also terrified of getting in trouble because he’s a good boy at heart. We both know that he h8s h8ers. And we both know his darling mother means more to him than either of us ever could.

We both know him fairly well.

You more so than I.

But then again, you held his hand much longer than I did.

I never so strongly believed in a love like I believed in him.

He was the one.

Was.

Not too long ago, I moved on and I now believe in a new love.

A steadier love.

And I truly believe there is more than one person out there in the world that we are meant to be with.

Because if there’s only one, then wow, we’re all screwed.

So if I’m no longer in love with him… why did I decide to write this?

Because I want you to know that I feel no resentment toward you.

And that I just really hope you make him happy.

Because that is all I ever wanted to give him.

Happiness.

His happiness meant more to me than my own. I was unable to give him the happiness he needed.

And it almost killed me.

But I hope in the end everything works out better for you.

And I hope you get to be with the love of our lives because you really do deserve to be happy.

I hope that if you ever decide to leave, he’ll love you enough to stop you at the door and kiss you until you decide to stay.

I hope you turn around and promise that you’ll never leave his side.

I hope you don’t make the same mistake I did.

I hope you stay.

Because one of us has to.

And it’s much too late for me.

I hope your love lasts much longer than ours ever did, and I hope you don’t see me as his ex-love who is resentful because I no longer carry his heart around.

I’m merely the girl who was meant to love him right before you came along.

And even though I didn’t know that for a very very long time (I may not have known it until I finished writing this letter), I know it now. And it’s a role I’m not ashamed to play.

Because at least I got him for six months.

At least I had enough time to memorize him completely.

At least I have his love safe in my heart so I can revisit it whenever I miss him.

I do miss him.

A lot sometimes.

But I’m always reassured with the beautiful fact that he has you.

And you won’t leave him.

And that is why I wrote this for you.

Because I think you’re really pretty, and I think it may in fact be forever between you two.

And if you were meant to be his life long love story,

Then I’m just happy to be the prologue.

Love,

The girl he loved before you

.

.

.

Facebook – Becca Tremmel

Instagram – @littlelionbecca

Twitter – @beccatremmel

84 Comments

  1. I dated my husband for almost 2 years in high school but my senior year i decided i couldnt be with him anymore. We broke up and i married someone else 2 years after him. That didnt work out and 4 years later all i could think about was my old boyfriend that i had left behind. He had been dating another girl for 4 by now and was engaged to be married. We were blessed to be able to talk one day and as we did we both realized that we should be back together. He broke off his engagement and i went ahead with my divorce. Fast forward to november 11th 2017 and we just celebrated our 22 wedding anniversary. Sometimes its worth going back and saying things you should have said. Im not sure where id be right now without my best friend from high school.

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  2. To the man I previously loved,
    I no longer see you in the man I see standing before me, you have changed.
    You have changed in the way you talk, the way you dress, even in the way you act.
    Some of this may have been my doing but most I can’t be blamed for.
    You speak in a way towards me I would have never imagined coming from the lips I once kissed. “Whore, Bitch, even Cunt.” When words like “Princess, Beautiful, even I Love You,” once came out of your mouth. Weird how the same mouth can say such opposite things in a course of time. You’ve gotten a whole new wardrobe, I know this because you asked me if I liked it, but you were only dressing to impress her. You once wore a sweatshirt with me that once meant everything, but apparently you upgraded from a Prince to a King because she can give you more than anything I could have given you. And the way you act, oh that’s the most painful of all. The moment I start to look the other way, you do something to bring me back in.
    I don’t know if it’s because you can’t bare to see me with other people or if it’s some twisted game but either way it’s no way to treat a girl you “no longer love” The moment I got rid of our things because I physically couldn’t take it anymore, I’m the one in the wrong.
    In your eyes I am never right, I will forever be a whore and a liar.
    The way you used to look at me, like I was the most precious thing in the world, that’s no longer there. You now look at me with disgust and hatred. You look at me in a way a girl never wants to be looked at. All of this for what? Because I didn’t say “Thank You.” Because I didn’t give you enough?
    Because maybe I wasn’t enough.. But if I wasn’t enough then why are you still looking my way?
    If you truly love her then why are you still talking to me about things that should never come out of a man’s mouth when he is off the market? What hurts me the most, is when I needed you the most, you knocked me back down to the ground. You pushed me when I was at my worst. And all you had to say was, “Sorry?” Well now let me say this, I’m sorry I can no longer be there for you because I can no longer bare to see you touch someone the way you touched me.
    Because you kicked me when i was down and when i needed you the most.
    Because you have treated me like the scum on the bottom of your shoe and I will no longer take it anymore. Because you hate that I am finally standing up for myself now and will no longer take your crap. I’m sorry because I will never see you as the man I saw the first night we met. The man that cared for me when I was down and didn’t just push me more. I’m sorry because in the end… I will never love you the same ever again.

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  3. After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all other ones out there. Anybody who need his help, should contact his email, DROGBEMUDIANSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM.

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  5. Wow… This had me in tears. My ex left me for another women after 14 years together. He was everything to me. I thought we would eventually get married and grow old together. He and I first had to get divorces from our last marraiges. Neither one of us had taken the steps to do so. When he met this other women who he was seeing for about 3 months at the time. He did everything that he promised to me for her. He got divorced and married her a year later. Till this day I still can’t understand what went wrong. We were so happy together. Yes we were going through some rough patches but we always worked through them. Not to mention that I am sick. Lupus, fibromyalgia, diabetic and diabetic. He promised to always be here for me. When I really needed him he up and left. It’s been a year now and I still miss him and love him. I see him every once in a while and it’s as if we never even knew eachother. I’m nobody to him. I don’t understand why he did what he did. Through all this I just wish him well and all the happiness. As for me I have no closure, I’m still healing. I feel so broken.
    Thank you for sharing. I think I’m going to do something similar, maybe it will help me as well.

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  6. Both of our first real, Six year relationship, 4 year daughter.. I left him due to depression issues which I extremely regret, I broke my family apart when that was all I’ve ever wanted a family ❤️️ It’s been almost two years since the split he started seeing another girl and it got a little serious for a few months then he broke it off. We had been talking and I thought hhe was ready to give me another chance because in them 6 years I gave him plenty well… they weren’t dating and he was staying with me and our daughter .. about 2 months later I find out they started texting and talking again that eventually lead to hanging out… I still kept trying even knowing the truth while he denied it… it went on forever that way, never knowing if it was her night or mine 😢 A little of a year and half… about 3 weeks ago I took a chance and hung out with another guy, he flipped..? And I’m not sure why… if I was what he wanted then why did you stay involved with her? I’m close with his sister and he’s told her he isn’t even sure if he wants to be with that girl.. he’s told me that a few times before as well? He has attachment issues which makes it hard for him to let go of things or people. But still I can’t use that as an excuse… after he knew about me hanging out with another guy which I haven’t in over a year and half because I was trying my very hardest to get him back.. he thinks I’m such a horrible person for doing it? But it’s okay for him to hang out with the other girl and what goes along with all that… anyone who could give me some advice I would immensely appreciate it. Ty in advance

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    1. I am currently pregnant and madly in love with the father, but we broke up 2 months and 3 days ago and he is already seeing other girls… I didn’t want a family, until we gouty together then I knew I was meant to have kids and marry him… but life d never works the way you want.

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  9. I read this and wonder why he left me for that other girl? Do I hate her? Maybe a little. Do I regret loving him? Yes. Am I going to hold a grudge forever? No. Am I glad that he’s found true love? Yes. But somehow, it still hurts, so much to know that im not the one holding his hand anymore. When I miss him, i look back at the amazing memories he gave me. Even if it was only for a little while. I will end off by saying this, your story gave me inspiration that someday, I will find someone else, like you did, and put the past behind me.

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  11. I’ve been in a similar situation and the one thing I always thought was, I wish she would tell me thank you. I picked that man up, put all his pieces together and made him whole, because trust me when I found him he was scattered into a million pieces. I’m happy he’s happy.

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  13. Wow… Many wont understand why but getting your feelings out there takes a brave woman and I must say that most of us do the total opposite we tend to hate “the girl he loved after me” for no reason ofcourse. This is a beautiful remedy to many including me… Broke up with him after 3 years and I’m still in a process of healing thanks a lot 😊

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  14. Sometimes I sit in my room and wonder why he would leave me after everything. I get it. She’s prettier, skinnier. I understand that now. But maybe she meant more. I know I didn’t mean anything to him. It broke me and I was supposed to believe everything he said. I regret going after him.

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  15. Now ain’t that a bitch… Pun intended…
    She has no right to write shit like this, honestly… She left, so she should die with her pain… You broke the guys heart when you left him, now you’re doing it again, making him wonder why then you left him if you’re going write a piece so deep… Can’t you see what you’re doing? You’re selfish… A selfish little bitch. I hope you die a spinster, you deserve no happiness. Leave people alone. Sies. Nxa. Gemors. Makes me angry… Fuck.

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    1. I love it. I got super insecure in my high school years because my parents who were the definition of love to me split up because my dad had 4 affairs, that wrecked me as a person it ruined everything I ever believed in and thought well if that’s fake then he can’t possibly love me. I ruined a 4 year relationship on that because I got so insecure. I still love him to this very day, as I write this laying next to my soon to be fiancé in bed I admit that the first boy I ever loved still holds a place in my heart. As does the first girl he ever loved and I know that because I found a box of old photos and love letters in a box when we moved and we talked about it. It’s not that I ever want to be with my ex again and yes I think his new girl is pretty I wished that she’d Dissaper for years but I’m happy he’s happy and in happy or happened or else I’d never be laying in bed with the beyond amazing guy next to him, though I’d be lying if I said I never break down crying thinking about my first everything. Love hurts add much as it feels amazing so please if you’ve never felt this keep your thoughts to yourself. I am happy and put into words the feelings, that I never could.
      I hope this opens your mind.

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    4. She has EVERY right to write stuff like this. Its cathartic for her and you make a LOT of assumptions about who is seeing this. He may have moved on. He may not even know this exists. Outside of the author the other 2 parties might never know that this piece here exists. She can purge her own heartbreak over the situation if she wants. Its not selfish in the least. To curse someone to “die with her pain” is probably one of the most mean spirited things one could say about what she wrote here that she “deserve no happiness” is downright cruel. I would highly suggest maybe you take an inspiration and follow suit and purge that anger and hatred towards this person WHOM YOUVE NEVER MET BY THE WAY says to me youre carrying a lot of weight on your heart that really should be let go. I carried that kind of anger once and now that its gone I no longer miss it and that weight is off my shoulders. Its liberating. You should try it.

      And before you go spouting about who the eff am I to make judgements…your own words preceded you and I will in fact judge by the face you show first.

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  16. I love this…
    Thank you…
    You changed everything…thanx to this… I officially accepted and moved on from something I thought I never could

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  18. So. You are in a steady , great relationship with your boyfriend. Then all of a sudden , It’s a letter /email from his ex. Sharing what they used to do , And how they said “I love you ” to each other and what she knows about him and how she thinks I’m pretty. I don’t know, I’d be quite annoyed as the Guys current girlfriend.Its completely unnecessary. If she wanted some sort of closure , she’s not supposed to do it through another girl she doesn’t even know. Well,personally. But at least a letter to the guy telling him that she hopes he’s happy and all. The letter was sweet and all, but she just gave it to the wrong person.

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  20. Whether I’ve been with someone a day, two weeks, 6 months or 6years it doesn’t take away the feelings that a produced by an outside catalyst such as a man. I for one low the whirlwind love, the staring into each other’s eyes for hours, cuddling, laughing, just laying in eachothers arms. I am a firm believer in love….but sometimes it’s just what was meant to be a short burst of exceptional feelings…the woman who is with her man since she is 16 I feel sorry you haven’t experienced the gut wrenching, leg shaking love that can be. It’s an amazing sense of ecstacy throughout your mind body and soul….6 months hell iVE been with my man 4 months….and I’ve been in an 8 year relationship and in the past four months I’ve felt more love, more connection and more hope than I did in 8 dreadful years. We fight, we make up, we talk about everything, we stare into each other’s eyes literally for hours…we have conversations without saying a word…we experiment sexually and I’ve never trusted someone more than him and I did from the moment we met. He is the one. The one that I’ll always remember even if we don’t last a life timè and believe you me I wish we do….but I’m glad I’ve at least got to experience such a love I thought only existed in movies or love novels….ahh the joy.and when you feel he way I do nothing and no little comments are going to upset me. I don’t take things personally in life…people react and do what they do and say what they say literally because of their own feelings and perception of the world and love…it never has anythung to do with you, you’re just an outside catalyst that set them off…..awww poor women who’ve never felt the loving of a man. I wish everyone to have love, to experinse it for what it is in its rawest purest for
    ..and remember love doesn’t hurt rejection does,love doesn’t make pain being sad and hurt does. Love produces love. Hate produces hate.

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    1. Wauw this gave me a really different look about love! You don’t need to love your ex anymore to carry about him after the time you spent together. I realized that after reading your beautiful letter, thank you!

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  21. This is so heart touching. Beautiful letter. Lovely words. Growth from where you used to be to where you are now. Theres nothing better than growth within a soul.

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  22. I had my love for 3-1/2 years, and have known him for 10+ years. With experiencing the loss of my mother shortly after we started dating, we began our hardships. Regardless if we had more hardships than some, I still loved every minute, because like you said “he was mine”. I knew that even though we fought, I’d be the one next to him at night(partially because we had an agreement lol), but I’d be there when he needed me, I’d be there for whatever he needed or wanted. Me, not her. We broke our promises, we’ve made mistakes but I wouldn’t change anything. I’ve been single for almost a year while he has been in a relationship for almost 6 months.it hurts that he’s moved on because I thought he was my forever..I thought we were gonna fight for us one more time..I walked away from the love of my life and I regret it so much and there’s nothing I can do about it because he doesn’t love me back..😖💔😖💔

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  23. Let me try to find some middle ground here. I think it’s good you wrote this. We all need to process what we feel. Understanding ourselves is the foundation for becoming our best selves. I do stuff like this all the time in my journal. There’s one big red flag in this though – if you really meant only what you’ve written here, you wouldn’t have posted it on your blog.
    Personal emotional epiphanies are just that – personal. You don’t need to share them with the people they involve and you don’t need to share them with the world by posting them on the internet. I’ve done things like this before too. Sometimes I’ve sent the things I’ve written to the people they’re about or made sure to post it somewhere they would see it. From that experience I understand that posting it on your blog or sending it is never just about closure. It’s about provoking a reaction from the person (or people) you’re writing about. When you really and truly move on from someone, you don’t feel any need to tell them about it. The knowledge is just for you. You accept that they’ve decided not to care and you stop sharing.
    Your decision to release this to the world just says you want your ex’s attention and the attention of the woman he’s with now. That’s not a selfless act, it’s a selfish one. Part of you wants him to see this and decide to maybe give you another chance. I think we women are especially prone to this brand of self-deception; the “I only want him to be happy” rationalization is a classic. If you really wanted him to feel free to be happy with someone else, you wouldn’t say or write anything to either of them. You would have written this for your eyes only because you wouldn’t, for even a second, want to potentially get in the way of him being happy.
    I’m sorry you’re hurt and I’m sorry you’re heartbroken. You obviously really miss him and that must hurt badly. But this isn’t how you let go. Posting this online is how you try to hold on. Letting go means walking away. And once you walk away, you don’t send postcards back to the guy you left behind. I learned this the hard way. I kept sending back postcards and all it did was keep the wounds open and bleeding. Only when I realised that ‘it’s over’ means you no longer have the privilege of trying to show him your heart, did I finally start to heal.
    I’m not writing this to condemn you. Letting go of someone after you let them into your heart is really hard and really painful; we do all kinds of things to make sure that we don’t have to go through with it. I wrote this so that you don’t have to repeat my mistakes. I did this and all I achieved was making him feel angry and manipulated. Then I got upset because I wasn’t trying to be manipulative. Except I was. I was trying to make him look back at me when he’d already decided to look away and that was wrong. If he didn’t want to choose me, I shouldn’t have tried to make him do it. Love is a gift someone gives you freely; you never have to convince them to give it to you.
    The kicker in all this is that all I managed to do was to hurt myself for much longer than I needed to be hurt. Writing to him kept him in my head for much longer than he needed to be there. That was my decision, not his. So please; the next time you write something like this, only write it for yourself. Don’t share it with the internet. Just because he stopped loving you, doesn’t mean you have to stop loving yourself. And when you love yourself, you protect your heart from unnecessary hurt. Please do that for yourself. He won’t anymore.

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    1. I respect your comment, but you are sincerely wrong. I wrote this for me and my healing process. I wrote this to let go. I then posted it because 1. I’m a blogger and sharing articles is what we do and 2. To promote the acceptance of the “new love” to other people. I wanted people to realize that if they’re not with their love anymore, it might be for the better. I wanted to promote a positive feeling towards the healing process. I was in no way trying to stir up anything with an ex boyfriend. I will continue to write personal blogs and I will continue to post them for everyone else, not just myself. Thank you for reading.

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    2. You found some mild words for this. It’s part of the honest process.
      Well, but bands do keep some of their songs out of public release, you know…

      P.S: I Don’t feel like there is even such thing as to “have” someone.

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    3. WOW U DIDN’T SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM READING IT THOUGH . NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN U WHAT ? FEEL THA NEED TO DO THE SAME THING THAT U WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT HER DOING HMMM INTERESTING . . . .

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  24. I was in a relationship for a year and a half with the guy I loved very deeply. I read this story and could relate to just about every part of it and it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. Only difference is I’m not over him yet. He has had a new girl for awhile and she is very sweet and very beautiful. And I respect her happiness because she is his now and I have no right to take that away from her. This was a great read. Thank you.

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  25. Thank you so much for writing this. It put exactly what I have been wrestling through the past five months into words. This is so well written and very wonderful that you have gotten to a place to write something like this. It takes a lot of courage. So yeah, thank you.

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  27. I too have hurt like she has..love is so powerful and can be so painful…i have woken up in tears grasping my sides while crying…the physical pain hurts as much as the emotional pain…i love this letter. It was written by someone who truly was in love…

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  28. WOW!
    I really wish long ago I had written such a letter, not to send it, not to hurt anyone but to get the feelings out, to move on easier, to say good-bye. I was in a relationship long ago, we fell in love quickly and just as quickly it was over. He moved on and I held on to hope that maybe, just maybe I’d get another chance. I was young. And for a couple of more years, I clung to that idiotic hope. But, I did move on, I had to. I met the right one, we’ve been together for nearly 6 years, we have a child together and I thank that childish love in my past because I know what love is and I know to hold on tight and appreciate it as a woman.

    You are a brave woman, it doesn’t matter how fast or long you had this love for, the important thing is that you had it and you felt it. I don’t know if you wrote and sent this letter or if you did it with the intentions of moving on but I commend you on the feelings you bravely put out there for the world to judge. I hope you find the right kind of love, the man that won’t let you go. You deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy.

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  30. I think this is getting way out of hand and people need to calm down like seriously from both parties people who don’t like it and have said their piece and people who do like it have said theirs but let’s not tear each other apart I’m pretty sure there are other sites for debates like this to happen but I think we all just need to be sensible about this if people are or are not trolling it then doesn’t give us the right to equal them and tell them the world is better without them because if we didn’t have difference of opinion Donald trump would be president, slavery wouldn’t be abolished and ice cream would only have one bloody flavour, and the point of all this is just chill out my personal view is that some parts are a bit strange for me to comprehend but others I can relate to so I just hope people read this and take it for what it is!

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  31. Are you for fucking real…? I’m completely in agreement with the one person talking sense calling her out on this massive display of neurotic and quite frankly pathetic obsession! All she has done is tried to, infact most probably caused problems in this new relationship, “aww poor me” what about the poor girl in her new relationship being hounded by her boyfriends creepy ex? Look at the emboldened part of the letter, clear attempts to pull on her EX boyfriends heart strings. The thing would be as well being addressed to him! Coming from someone currently in a happy new relationship that was previously plauged with C.S.E.S (creepy stalker ex syndrome) I can tell you this is nothing but a poorly disguised attempt to sabotage BOTH new parties happiness. You’re all deluded to be frank if you think this is in any way shape or form healthy, not being a troll either but it was six months, get over yerself and back aff ya spooky bitch.

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    1. Even though you don’t agree with her feelings, wouldn’t it be better to just leave her be? This letter just sounded like a way for her to explore her feelings, and help her move on. Six months is plenty of time to become attached to someone, and it sounds like it was a really special time that they spent together. Even if you don’t think it was a healthy relationship, it sounds like she’s moved on, and that she feels better now. This was a big step for her, to get over this guy. You seem to be telling her to stay away from her ex and his new girlfriend, which is what this letter is all about, she has found her own strength again and is saying that even though she still cares for her ex, she has moved on. Instead of insulting her, it would be more helpful to encourage her to continue with what she’s doing and to keep growing as a human being.

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  33. Easy that’s why I don’t ever let my emotions run me. They are too powerful and misleading. Anyway I rarely feel this love spark emotion nor do I have it dictate and consume my life. I have been in a 5 year relationship (with my first) and didn’t rush into those ‘fuzzy feelings’ I let my feelings develop over time and slowly grow as I get older, without chasing misleading, momentary feelings that end in heartbreak, because it turns out the guy wasn’t right for you. I’ve been with my current boyfriend since I was 16, I am 21 now and I feel satisfied; he is kind, caring and sensible and I feel for him more everyday and love him more, I don’t have high expectations of a fleeting love story, like you see in movies because they just aren’t realist, just like anything, in life you have to work at it, nothing comes easy and if it does I would be cautious.

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  34. I can relate hun so much….except mine had kids with the other and married her and now wants me back I want to give his wife a fighting chance but truthfully they’ve only been together for a year maybe two but I was with him for 6 years and we were married for a year we did an actual wedding but he did a court marriage with her as if she wasn’t important enough to go through that again idk what to do.

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  35. Truthfully, this gives me hope to find a person to love. I’m a girl who had trouble finding a reason to love, a girl who has always been afraid of taking a step towards a relationship that could end with me being hurt. It’s not like I haven’t read the beautiful stories of love that make me swoon, but it all seemed so impossible. This work of art has helped change my way of seeing relationships, and I will think back to this and wish for her happiness as well as everyone else’s.

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  36. Holy shit dude. I loved this so much, that I started crying. This is very similar to what happened to me, but the guy cheated on me and they had broken up after a year. There’s still resentment in me for both of them. I just wish I could be like you and let go of that resentment and forgive them.

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    1. Reading this brought peace to my heart, it felt like I was reading the letter as if it was written to me, I understand now what the lover before me must of went through when I came into the picture. Don’t listen to the negative posts to your blog, women out there .. real women appreciate the time you’ve taken to write this letter. Even though you wrote it for someone else it is relatable to so many of us girls, women, ex’s, new girlfriends who don’t have relationships with there ex’s. I just want you to know that you are very brave for writing this and I thank you for it! Keep your head up you will have a forever love and a love like no other x

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      1. This tragically beautiful post nearly had me in tears. Your reply was just so real as to what everyone had felt. No matter how long they were together love is love and when one loves as such it becomes a joy in every way and form to that single heart. If one’s love is suddenly ripped away from them, no matter in what way it’s taken it will always bring such chest deepening feelings like when you see him, in person or in a photo with his new beauty and your chest sinks in deeper then you thought was possible that first time you see them together.

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  37. i cried reading this and i support the way you feel and i support this note and 6 months can be a very long time an maybe there sparks if theres anymore hate comments i can tell you right now to shut up because i bet that all of you haters felt the same way😡‼️ i love this story stay strong😭‼️

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  39. Beautifully and honestly written! It’s so hard to put such vulnerable feelings out there like this! Also, your message of forgiveness really struck a cord with me. So, thank you for this.

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  44. The girl you wrote this too, just now feels awkward and insecure, 6 months is childish and so is this whole story. If you two had real love he would of fought for you to stay. Not being a troll here but seriously why did you need to write this? The world would be a better place if people just weren’t so bitchy and nasty. All I read from this is a desperate attempt to try and get through to your ex.

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    5. She needed to write this because her heart still hurts. 6 months or 6 years it still hurts. Love is a powerful thing its not only a word but a feeling it’s the way they hold their fork and shake their head at you, its the way the smurk and never give you any privacy,it is so many things that can leave you gasping on air at 2 a.m. or eating ice cream with your significant other. If you are a woman shame on you for so foolishly trying to shame her, and if you are a man be that man who stops the woman at the door.

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    13. Why do you feel the need to post a rude unnecessary uncalled for comment such as this? We don’t need to know why she wrote this so what is it to you? This just seems like a sad attempt to get attention. Maybe there are people who can relate to this. You’re childish and petty and so is your ignorant comments. Hopefully you learn and can raise your children that if they don’t have anything nice to say to not say anything at all. If anything or anyone is childish here it’s you. Don’t ruin someone else’s beautiful piece with your bitchiness.

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    14. Why do you have to be petty and ruin this. Maybe writing this letter helped her finally move on, and get out all the feelings she’s been hiding and struggling with for so long. Go somewhere else with your rude ass self. Thanks.

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    19. Honestly yea its just 6months but honestly I hate shit like this but damn so much could happen in 6 months I been in a 3yr relationship before but he wasn’t the one…. I appreciate this BC she saw the silver lining in the hardest thing for her

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    21. To the ones who are blaming on this letter and the girl who wrote,

      This shows clearly how brainless and heartless you people could be. This is an amazing letter ^_^ If you don’t see the good point in this whole thing, then please don’t stand up to find the fault and judge.

      Becca Tremmet, You are Simplay amazing ! Much Love

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    22. Ok first of all you’re a dick… and second of all…you’re a dick!!

      This girl poured her heart out and then people like you come and you just trample all over the personal victories of others

      I’m not even joking..it’s people like you that cause shit like suicide…you just say what you want and don’t even care how you make others feel!! For all you know this girl was right on the edge…and your stupid inconsiderate comment gave her the last push she needed

      Am I over-exaggerating?? Probably…but I need you to understand that what you say…It can do a lot to a person

      yes 6 months is not a long time…so what!! If it’s love…then it’s love
      Maybe you don’t understand how amazing this letter is..and what it must have took to write it because maybe you’ve never been so completely in love?
      or Maybe you’re lucky enough to have never lost a love like that.

      I was with my ex for 2 years…are you gonna tell me that he never truly loved me because he didn’t “fight” hard enough to keep me….people change…and feelings change

      In the end..yes maybe his love for me did decrease…but that doesn’t mean my did… so the hurt stays the same

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    23. I don’t mean to sound nasty, so if it comes across that way I am sorry. But L, this is a moving letter from one woman to another. In this day and age it is very difficult to admit you were wrong, even just the wrong fit, especially when admitting it to a perceived rival. As a woman who spent 4 years mourning a relationship that lasted only 3 months, I can attest that the length of the relationship is meaningless when compared to the depth of it. This is a woman who obviously fell hard and loved hard. All she wanted was to make this man happy, and when it was no longer her opportunity to do so, it broke her heart. Many people, women especially because we feel on a deeper level than most men, would not have had the strength to write this and post it. Most don’t have the confidence, let alone the strength, to admit this to themselves. This woman has shown a remarkable amount of confidence, strength and especially wisdom in this letter. You should be ashamed to bring her down for it. I am a firm believer that, if you don’t feel moved by something or if you dislike something, you should mention it either politely or not at all. We should be lifting each other up, not dragging each other down. You never know if a thoughtless comment is the one that pushes someone over a ledge they can’t come back from. And you never know if a simple thoughtful comment is what brings someone away from the edge. Your actions and comments have consequences.

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    24. But you did troll. Writing one’s feelings down helps to understand them. Like she said, she didn’t realize it until she was done. And a letter like this doesn’t even have to be sent, just writing it can relieve stress. Everything we’ve ever done in our lives, every person we’ve met, has lead us to this moment. If I had received this letter I would have been happy. But I understand if you’ve never experienced such circumstances that allow you to relate. Love isn’t measured in time, maybe she didn’t actually memorize or learn everything about him, but love is love. And I think it shows a good deal about someone’s character when they have loved so deeply. I love him more because of the way he loves her. And once you love someone for real, they’re always in your heart, and the next love has to accept that. I hope that he realizes that there’s room for me in his heart too and that I only want to make him happy. And the girl who wrote this must have loved her someone too. She let go. This letter isn’t bitching, she’s contemplating, realizing and accepting. Maybe you’ve never really loved someone and can’t relate to the feeling of watching them love someone else. Or watching the person you love suffer because they still love someone who no longer appreciates them, but continues to fuck with their emotions. Or maybe it’s just easier for you to let go. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just telling you this as a girl who is in her own love mess, and I hope that I’ve helped you understand. And please don’t say ‘not to be a troll’ when you’re being a troll.

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