I’m not sure who the eff “he” is.
He could be your ex,
He could be some guy you’re crushing on hardcore but don’t want to overwhelm with your feral emotions,
He could be your boyfriend who we’re currently mad at because he did that annoying thing again,
Or your mailman.
For whatever reason,
You don’t want to call him.
That’s fine. I’m sure there’s a good reason.
I got you, girl.
Whoever he is, here are 55 things to do instead of calling him.
1. Go on a hike. The fresh air will do ya good.
2. Call an old friend who you haven’t talked to in over two years.
3. Paint your nails a crazy color
4. Take a nap
5. Drive to a neighboring state and spend the day exploring
6. Read a self help book
7. Write your own self help book
8. Adopt a pet and then cuddle with it
9. Grab some margaritas with your bestie
10. Learn how to play the harmonica
11. Watch every Lord of the Rings movie plus the bonus features (that’ll kill about 15 hours)
12. Drive around your town blasting the full “1989” album plus those bangin’ bonus songs
13. Plan a birthday party for a friend. I don’t care if it’s six months in advance or if you only know her though math class.
14. Throw caution to the wind and re-download Tinder
15. Hate yourself after receiving your first “send nudes” message and then re-delete Tinder
16. Or send nudes. You do you.
17. I lied. Don’t send nudes.
18. Go to a shooting range and take some shooting lessons
19. Write a strongly worded letter to congress about a current issue/law that pisses you tf off.
20. Watch clips from the Teletubbies and re-discover how effing creepy those things are
21. Create a workout schedule that’ll give you a bangin’ bod
22. Pick up some extra shifts at work
23. Or apply for a job you helpless, unemployed potato
24. Look up the sound frogs make when they’re afraid and laugh (Watch this)
25. Look up the sound zebras make and be as confused as I am (BUT WHY DO THEY DO THIS)
26. Get a haircut.
27. Delete random pics on your phone that are just taking up space (maybe delete some pics of him while you’re at it)
28. Learn how to cook
29. Cook something
30. Clean your apartment
31. But really, clean your apartment… It’s getting bad.
32. Get distracted while cleaning and look through the crap people wrote in your high school yearbooks
33. Stalk people from high school on Facebook.
34. Write a letter to him
35. Then set that shit on fire
36. Make a pinterest board with just pictures of baby animals
37. Take the Myers Briggs test. You’ll be entertained for at least two hours, I swear.
38. Create a blog !!!!!!
39. Cry yourself to sleep because now you’re just an emotional, oversharing blogger just like me
40. Go to a coffee shop
41. Join farmersonly.com just because
42. Buy succulents and up your #aesthetic game
43. Start learning French. Bon Chance!
44. Read the bible (we all need to at some point)
45. Plan a weekend vacation
46. Figure out what type of tattoo you’d get if you were ever brave enough to get one
47. Screw it, get a tattoo
48. Maybe download Bumble instead of Tinder. I only want what’s best for you <3
49. Find your old Gameboy Advance and play your favorite game
Gotta catch ’em all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
50. Start a new hobby
51. Make a list of the top 10 places you’d love to visit
52. Decide what your favorite song of all time is
53. Try eating a really healthy dinner #kale
54. Give up and order pizza (maybe you’ll find love with the delivery guy)
55. And if all else fails and you’re about 3 seconds from calling him, just toss your phone off a bridge. That’ll DEF keep you from calling him.
Good luck, girl. I believe in you.
Facebook – Becca Tremmel
Instagram – @littlelionbecca
Twitter – @littlelionbecca