So a few weeks ago I sat down with a good friend.

We laughed and chatted over coffee.

Put our phones down for an hour to have an honest and open conversation.

We talked about writing, love, music, successes, failures, avocado toast and social media.

In short, we covered a lot of millennial-esque topics.


She told me about a song she wrote about social media and the real dangers it can cause.

Comparing ourselves to one another.

Until we’re addicted to self-sabotaging cycles that never ever end.

All due to a few apps.

Wtf?

I often find myself scrolling through instagram and thinking,

“Ugh her pictures are so well done. I wish my feed looked like that”

I wish I was as skinny as her.”

I wish I performed as much as he did.”

I wish I got as many likes as her. I probably would too, if I posed half naked.”

I found myself judging other people and also comparing myself to them.

Just by looking at their instagram photos.

Isn’t that an odd concept?

You may not know someone well,

Maybe not even at all.

But you find yourself comparing your talents

Your relationships

And even your body parts to theirs.

All because you saw some beautifully edited photo of them next to a river with a flower crown in their hair.

Doesn’t that seem like… somewhat ridiculous?


I think it’s extremely important to remind ourselves

Daily

That social media is a COMPLETE lie.

I mean, obviously some of it is true.

People get engaged, promotions, photoshoots, and experience happy life changes.

But everyone also suffers.

And we all have flaws.

Who you are on social media is not the real you.

It’s who you want to be.

It’s how you want others to perceive you.

It’s the ideal version of yourself

Right?

For example,

Instagram Becca is ~skinny~

Instagram Becca has like ~so many friends~ and like everyone like ~totally adores her~

Instagram Becca is an ~incredibly successful~ singer, songwriter, blogger, cat trainer, archer, swimmer, la-di-da-di-da.

Instagram Becca never suffers.

She’s never felt a prick of pain in her entire life.

All of her breakups have been ~mutual~

(lol)

All of her flaws are covered up with some ~vigorous editing~

She is “perfect

But real Becca?

She’s really out of shape.

When she goes on a run (once every five years) she basically has a full blown asthma attack.

She only has a few close friends, but they mean the absolute world to her because they’ve seen her flaws and choose to love her anyway.

She likes to write songs but she’s not where she wants to be career-wise and her music gets rejected insanely often.

She suffers.

But she likes to cover it up as soon as someone points it out.

She also bites her nails, gets broken up with, still doesn’t know how to do her laundry and takes everything personally.

She’s a hot mess half the time.

But do I share that on social media?

Hell to the no.


So,

Now that you know the real me

I’m going to get even more honest with you.

It can be so incredibly damaging and self sabotaging to compare your flaws, career, or love life to another person.

Especially over social media.

You’re comparing your entire self to another person’s ideal version of themselves.

It ain’t healthy, yo.

So as soon as you start getting into that toxic mindset,

Put the phone down.

Go for a walk.

Have a genuine face to face conversation with someone you love.

Because it doesn’t matter how many likes you get on a post.

It doesn’t matter that you have a picture-perfect looking relationship on instagram.

It doesn’t matter.

None of it matters.

All that matters is you

And what you think about yourself.

Your self worth does not lie in a face-tuned edited photo.

You don’t need 200 likes to feel important or vital to this earth.

You already are.

Just by existing and being your flawed, imperfect, beautiful, kinda chubby, dorky, hilarious self.

And the people who really matter, will love every single part of you

Not just ~instagram you~

 

 

(PS. check out my wonderful friend, Nilka‘s song which inspired this rant and blog)

 

facebook – Becca Tremmel

instagram – @littlelionbecca

twitter – @littlelionbecca

It’s raining harder than it has in years.

The city is asleep as it prepares for another hectic Monday morning.

The pavement glows underneath her as she runs from her car to his doorstep.

She’s breathless

A ball of anxiety

But pounds fearlessly on his door anyway.

Minutes pass as she stares at the ground and bites her lip.

Finally, he pulls open the door.

Shocked.

They haven’t spoken in several months.

But months of silence couldn’t suffocate the four years she’s spent completely in love with him.

Should’ve known better.

She thinks to herself in hindsight.

They stand in complete silence.

Until finally,

“What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

Her eyes slowly lift to meet his.

Those perfect, innocent green eyes that have kept her mesmerized for years.

This is it.

They’ve never kissed, surprisingly.

She thought about kissing him every day for four years.

This is it.

This is it.

This is it.

Her mind trips over itself thinking and re-thinking over every possible reaction he could have.

This is it.

She loses eye contact with him when she closes her eyes and inhales the last breath she will ever breathe not having kissed him.
This is it.

All she needs is ten seconds of blinding courage

This is it.

Her legs carry her to him with wavering confidence

This is it.

And she places her hands on either side of his puzzled face

This is it.

And pulls her lips to his

This is it.

And the past four years of frustration,

Anger,

Depression,

Guilt,

And heartbreak

Slowly melt away

Drop by drop

With this one kiss.

The kiss we’ve all been waiting for.

And everything that has bruised her,

Stung her,

Left her broken on the bathroom floor,

Or helpless on her knees

Suddenly all made sense.

Because all of those moments

Brought her to this moment

With him.

And she decides that she would live through those painful moments a thousand times over

As long as they always ended right here

Right now

Her lips on his.

His heart against hers.

I’m not sure who the eff “he” is.

He could be your ex,

He could be some guy you’re crushing on hardcore but don’t want to overwhelm with your feral emotions,

He could be your boyfriend who we’re currently mad at because he did that annoying thing again,

Or your mailman.

For whatever reason,

You don’t want to call him.

That’s fine. I’m sure there’s a good reason.

I got you, girl.

Whoever he is, here are 55 things to do instead of calling him.


1. Go on a hike. The fresh air will do ya good.

2. Call an old friend who you haven’t talked to in over two years.

3. Paint your nails a crazy color

4. Take a nap

5. Drive to a neighboring state and spend the day exploring

6. Read a self help book

7. Write your own self help book

8. Adopt a pet and then cuddle with it

9. Grab some margaritas with your bestie

10. Learn how to play the harmonica

11. Watch every Lord of the Rings movie plus the bonus features (that’ll kill about 15 hours)

12. Drive around your town blasting the full “1989” album plus those bangin’ bonus songs

13. Plan a birthday party for a friend. I don’t care if it’s six months in advance or if you only know her though math class.

14. Throw caution to the wind and re-download Tinder

15. Hate yourself after receiving your first “send nudes” message and then re-delete Tinder

16. Or send nudes. You do you.

17. I lied. Don’t send nudes.

18. Go to a shooting range and take some shooting lessons

19. Write a strongly worded letter to congress about a current issue/law that pisses you tf off.

20. Watch clips from the Teletubbies and re-discover how effing creepy those things are

Teletubbies-371606

Good. Bye.

21. Create a workout schedule that’ll give you a bangin’ bod

22. Pick up some extra shifts at work

23. Or apply for a job you helpless, unemployed potato

24. Look up the sound frogs make when they’re afraid and laugh (Watch this)

25. Look up the sound zebras make and be as confused as I am (BUT WHY DO THEY DO THIS)

26. Get a haircut.

27. Delete random pics on your phone that are just taking up space (maybe delete some pics of him while you’re at it)

28. Learn how to cook

29. Cook something

30. Clean your apartment

31. But really, clean your apartment… It’s getting bad.

32. Get distracted while cleaning and look through the crap people wrote in your high school yearbooks

33. Stalk people from high school on Facebook.

34. Write a letter to him

35. Then set that shit on fire

36. Make a pinterest board with just pictures of baby animals

37. Take the Myers Briggs test. You’ll be entertained for at least two hours, I swear.

38. Create a blog !!!!!!

39. Cry yourself to sleep because now you’re just an emotional, oversharing blogger just like me

40. Go to a coffee shop

41. Join farmersonly.com just because

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#YouDontHaveToBeLonelyAtFarmersOnlyDotCom

42. Buy succulents and up your #aesthetic game

43. Start learning French. Bon Chance!

44. Read the bible (we all need to at some point)

45. Plan a weekend vacation

46. Figure out what type of tattoo you’d get if you were ever brave enough to get one

47. Screw it, get a tattoo

48. Maybe download Bumble instead of Tinder. I only want what’s best for you <3

49. Find your old Gameboy Advance and play your favorite game

41X3B28XR7L

Gotta catch ’em all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

50. Start a new hobby

51. Make a list of the top 10 places you’d love to visit

52. Decide what your favorite song of all time is

53. Try eating a really healthy dinner #kale

54. Give up and order pizza (maybe you’ll find love with the delivery guy)

55. And if all else fails and you’re about 3 seconds from calling him, just toss your phone off a bridge. That’ll DEF keep you from calling him.


 

Good luck, girl. I believe in you.

Love,

Becca Tremmel

 

Facebook – Becca Tremmel

Instagram – @littlelionbecca

Twitter – @littlelionbecca