So a few weeks ago I sat down with a good friend.
We laughed and chatted over coffee.
Put our phones down for an hour to have an honest and open conversation.
We talked about writing, love, music, successes, failures, avocado toast and social media.
In short, we covered a lot of millennial-esque topics.
She told me about a song she wrote about social media and the real dangers it can cause.
Comparing ourselves to one another.
Until we’re addicted to self-sabotaging cycles that never ever end.
All due to a few apps.
I often find myself scrolling through instagram and thinking,
“Ugh her pictures are so well done. I wish my feed looked like that”
“I wish I was as skinny as her.”
“I wish I performed as much as he did.”
“I wish I got as many likes as her. I probably would too, if I posed half naked.”
I found myself judging other people and also comparing myself to them.
Just by looking at their instagram photos.
Isn’t that an odd concept?
You may not know someone well,
Maybe not even at all.
But you find yourself comparing your talents
And even your body parts to theirs.
All because you saw some beautifully edited photo of them next to a river with a flower crown in their hair.
Doesn’t that seem like… somewhat ridiculous?
I think it’s extremely important to remind ourselves
That social media is a COMPLETE lie.
I mean, obviously some of it is true.
People get engaged, promotions, photoshoots, and experience happy life changes.
But everyone also suffers.
And we all have flaws.
Who you are on social media is not the real you.
It’s who you want to be.
It’s how you want others to perceive you.
It’s the ideal version of yourself
Instagram Becca is ~skinny~
Instagram Becca has like ~so many friends~ and like everyone like ~totally adores her~
Instagram Becca is an ~incredibly successful~ singer, songwriter, blogger, cat trainer, archer, swimmer, la-di-da-di-da.
Instagram Becca never suffers.
She’s never felt a prick of pain in her entire life.
All of her breakups have been ~mutual~
All of her flaws are covered up with some ~vigorous editing~
She is “perfect”
But real Becca?
She’s really out of shape.
When she goes on a run (once every five years) she basically has a full blown asthma attack.
She only has a few close friends, but they mean the absolute world to her because they’ve seen her flaws and choose to love her anyway.
She likes to write songs but she’s not where she wants to be career-wise and her music gets rejected insanely often.
But she likes to cover it up as soon as someone points it out.
She also bites her nails, gets broken up with, still doesn’t know how to do her laundry and takes everything personally.
She’s a hot mess half the time.
But do I share that on social media?
Hell to the no.
Now that you know the real me
I’m going to get even more honest with you.
It can be so incredibly damaging and self sabotaging to compare your flaws, career, or love life to another person.
Especially over social media.
You’re comparing your entire self to another person’s ideal version of themselves.
It ain’t healthy, yo.
So as soon as you start getting into that toxic mindset,
Put the phone down.
Go for a walk.
Have a genuine face to face conversation with someone you love.
Because it doesn’t matter how many likes you get on a post.
It doesn’t matter that you have a picture-perfect looking relationship on instagram.
It doesn’t matter.
None of it matters.
All that matters is you
And what you think about yourself.
Your self worth does not lie in a face-tuned edited photo.
You don’t need 200 likes to feel important or vital to this earth.
You already are.
Just by existing and being your flawed, imperfect, beautiful, kinda chubby, dorky, hilarious self.
And the people who really matter, will love every single part of you
Not just ~instagram you~
(PS. check out my wonderful friend, Nilka‘s song which inspired this rant and blog)
facebook – Becca Tremmel
instagram – @littlelionbecca
twitter – @littlelionbecca